she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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