Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize