Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
