My room smells like vodka and shame
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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