I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My pussy is not your playground.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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