How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.