she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.