I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?