I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize