She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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