Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
