we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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