So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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