Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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