omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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