her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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