So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
