I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
