is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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