I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I will be naked everywhere
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
