he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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