please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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