they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
