his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
