Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
