tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
