bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
