11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
