woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize