I want to make a zoo with you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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