you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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