DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
