I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
