I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
