you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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