when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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