the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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