Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
