I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
