I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
