Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
