He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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