Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
