I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
