omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.