I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
