he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
