Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.

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(832): I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up. http://tfl.nu/vunl

Replies (27) Good night (1192) Bad night (1895)
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(516): View more from New York

Are you with Adam and his vodka?

(1-516): View more from New York

Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

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(516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde

Replies (29) Good night (4269) Bad night (640)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.

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(402): What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho. http://tfl.nu/a5a8

Replies (43) Good night (5332) Bad night (972)
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(361): View more from Texas

Boobs. All I remember is boobs.

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(361): Boobs. All I remember is boobs. http://tfl.nu/ewyu

Replies (9) Good night (5578) Bad night (590)
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(770): View more from Georgia

who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!

(404): View more from Georgia

you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.

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(770): who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!! (404): you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship. http://tfl.nu/9p9t

Replies (36) Good night (6672) Bad night (1533)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.

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(402): Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes. http://tfl.nu/823v

Replies (12) Good night (2987) Bad night (971)
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(323): View more from California

Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.

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(323): Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl. http://tfl.nu/6wl6

Replies (32) Good night (2241) Bad night (4281)
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(253): View more from Washington

If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.

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(253): If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/jc0t

Replies (15) Good night (3422) Bad night (901)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am too young to be this hungover

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

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(608): I am too young to be this hungover (262): Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th? http://tfl.nu/yoe0

Replies (5) Good night (720) Bad night (1110)
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(714): View more from California

She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?

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(714): She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what? http://tfl.nu/cv8q

Replies (53) Good night (1235) Bad night (5218)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.

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(773): Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather. http://tfl.nu/isyp

Replies (10) Good night (1828) Bad night (714)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.

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(717): Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers. http://tfl.nu/8bi9

Replies (6) Good night (1316) Bad night (493)
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(512): View more from Texas

Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.

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(512): Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely. http://tfl.nu/gnvv

Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (515)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo

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(610): As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo http://tfl.nu/nylc

Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (295)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.

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(586): Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever. http://tfl.nu/pbak

Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (494)

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