i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
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