I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.