Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

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  (619): You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on. http://tfl.nu/5706
  Replies (3) Good night (4215) Bad night (616)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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  (303): All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs http://tfl.nu/h4tc
  Replies (43) Good night (5383) Bad night (1403)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"

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  (419): Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get" http://tfl.nu/yg96
  Replies (23) Good night (9077) Bad night (1070)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.

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  (203): Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit. http://tfl.nu/kamj
  Replies (17) Good night (4997) Bad night (942)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

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  (517): you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii http://tfl.nu/lbrx
  Replies (22) Good night (9330) Bad night (1582)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.

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  (206): someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'. http://tfl.nu/u94d
  Replies (9) Good night (7079) Bad night (982)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.

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  (609): promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant. http://tfl.nu/llpo
  Replies (5) Good night (2037) Bad night (1497)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.

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  (603): 4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin. http://tfl.nu/zsng
  Replies (16) Good night (1073) Bad night (6809)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out

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  (678): Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out http://tfl.nu/g5nx
  Replies (9) Good night (4398) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.

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  (402): There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster. http://tfl.nu/rpfq
  Replies (2) Good night (1563) Bad night (649)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.

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  (717): Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/b7dz
  Replies (6) Good night (2340) Bad night (875)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode

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  (212): He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode http://tfl.nu/pfoq
  Replies (26) Good night (2284) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.

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  (609): I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains. http://tfl.nu/mhck
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (860)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.

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  (702): Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women. http://tfl.nu/b3we
  Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (351)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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  (571): I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar." http://tfl.nu/n1ur
  Replies (4) Good night (510) Bad night (258)

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