I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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