I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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