question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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