so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
