before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wear drunk well.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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