I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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