Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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