am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Shame - the story of my life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
