I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
