idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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