I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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