I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
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but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
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My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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