i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
