It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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