I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
