It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
