is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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